This is usually a very serious matter in relationships. The common saying in Nigeria that “No money, no love” may not be totally true. Some people are confused about why they are really into a particular relationship especially when their partner turns out to be far from all they ever wanted (but who is?). Some others are certain they are in only for the money and easily disappear when the money stops flowing.
But those that are also in a relationship for the sake of love also experience conflicts about money issues; who earns more and thus carries more of the financial burden? How often should the man pay the bills even when the lady earns her own money? Joe Isaka, a media person declares that money is more important in a relationship, because “With money, you can make any girl fall in love with you. By the time you buy her gifts, take her to the cinema, pay for her shopping trips, she will start thinking of you as her knight in shinning armour. She is in love.”
Charity, a student of University of Abuja, agrees with Joe; “money is more important than love because love dies in the absence of money. Like me, I cannot date a poor guy. I had a friend who was in love with a poor guy but another guy who she did not really like kept buying her gifts the poor guy could not get for her. After a while her love for the poor guy disappeared and today she is married to the rich guy”.
In this era when the lady can stand equal to the man in terms of finances, most guys tend to feel intimidated by ladies that earn more than they do. Tony Ikare, a journalist says that he would not date a lady that earns more than he does because the lady will not respect him.
“I will not feel good with myself if I cannot see to the needs of my girl. It’s part of what proves your manhood. That is why I will not date a girl that earns more than me. No matter how mature minded the two people are, a time will come when that will become an issue between them”.
Financial security is one thing that every girl craves, its level of importance vary from a couple to a couple. Cynthia Ideh, a youth corps member is of the opinion that money and love go hand in hand. “Both are very important factors in a relationship. Without money the love will not grow and without love , the relationship is not very enjoyable. This is why the man should do his best to become comfortable in life before going into a committed relationship.
Money is the spice that keeps the relationship alive”. She is of the opinion that money is the major reason why lots of guys wait a long time before they settle down to marriage unlike in the European countries when men are able to get married on impulse and sometimes at a very young age.
The times have changed so much that there is a higher demand for the good things of life. The truth is that every girl wants to be secure in her relationship which is why a girl would prefer a banker as a mate to a marketer. For those who are in relationships and encounter some financial conflicts, here are some tips on how to resolve them.
• Put love first; money cannot buy love. So if you are in a committed relationship, do not allow money become a major issue. Whenever you and your partner arrive at a financial ‘knot’, discuss it like rational adults without emotions be clouding your thoughts. Afterall there are a lot of rich couples that are downright miserable.
• Live within your means; if your man is worth N1 million, live within that budget and if he is worth less, be just as understanding and cut your costs. Also take into consideration that your man has needs of his own as well whenever you are making financial demands.
• Turn off the blackberry; there is time for every thing. You work hard during working hours and when it’s ‘couples’ time, you should spend quality time together. Research has shown that women are more understanding if their man spends quality time with them even when he is not as rich as they may have preferred. As a friend of mine would say, work hard but love harder.
• Always communicate; being truthful about your financial status to your partner will give you both a realistic stand on how to manage your budget. Some guys are of the opinion that revealing one’s true financial status to a girl is not acceptable. Joe above had mentioned that if a girl knows a guy’s real income, she starts to plan on how to spend the money herself. Revealing your income to your partner should come when the relationship reaches a good level of trust and commitment. It is easier said than done (tell me about it), but at the end of the day honesty is truly the best policy.
Being in a relationship is hard, it takes emotional, mental and (certainly) financial strains on the two people involved, but a decision and agreement to make it work is what makes the relationship enjoyable. Come to think of it, of what use will be all the money if one won’t have a lover to spend it on. Love, accompanied with understanding and a bit of adjustment, makes a relation go long way, with money to handle the cost of transportation of course!