By Margret, a mother of three has vowed not to set eyes on her daughter again. Esther, the daughter had committed an abominable act by sleeping with her mother’s boyfriend.
“I have disowned my last daughter, I am no longer her mother again, she has brought shame to the whole family, and she has not only betrayed me but her siblings too.
If you know the way I have suffered for these children since their father died 12year ago, you will understand my pain.
I married their father when I was 21years old. Ours was a love made in heaven. At a point, even his family believe I’d ‘charmed’ their son. We loved and were there for each other. Because of the love he had for me, he stopped me from working and I became a full time house wife, but he was always providing for me, he was a company supervisor who travelled a lot, and we always looked forward to his return because of the goodies he brings.
In a space of five years, I gave birth to three kids, all girls. Even when people were complaining, he would tell them that he loved his girls and promised to give them the best education he could. This went on until death came through accident on one of his numerous trips.
His death brought sorrow and poverty to our hitherto peaceful lifestyle. My husband was a heavy spender who never saved anything for the rainy days. He never knew he was going to die so early, he was just 37years old. My world turned upside down that day.
Three months after his death, I had to withdraw the children from their expensive nursery school because I couldn’t afford to pay the fees. I started looking for a job, which wasn’t easy to come by. We had to moved to a smaller room and parlour because I couldn’t pay the rent and for his family who believed that I’d charmed their son, nobody came to our aid. They stopped visiting us. The only people that stood by us where my parents, my father paid the rent and even paid my children’s school fees. But I knew I couldn’t depend on my parents for long, they were just pensioners.
I had to humble myself and start frying ‘akara’,( bean cake) to sustain us while I continued to search for a job. With time I opened a small restaurant where I also sell alcohol. It was from that business that I used in sponsoring my daughters, but it came with a price. Gradually, I started drinking and mingling with the customers, naturally I started dating some of them. I was still a young woman and needed love, too.
As my daughters were growing up, the restaurant became a part of their lives too. When they got to high school, they too started dating guys and would bring them to the restaurant. I even encouraged it because men were coming to the restaurant because of them and their friends.
Two of them have graduated from the university; one is married. My problem is with my last daughter who has gone hey wire. She sleeps with any man, and reports have been coming to me from her friends that she sleeps with their boyfriends, too. I would just advised her and caution her. Meanwhile I had got a steady man in my life who was a big ‘oga ‘ in a government established. He became responsible for my welfare, and even that of the kids. He bought a car and house for us. During my first daughter’s wedding he stood in as a father and spend money, that her in-laws thought she comes from a wealthy background. If I don’t tell you, you will not know that he is not really married to me, even his family have come to accept me as part of their family. He is like a ‘husband’ to me. Everybody respects him, even my children know and treat him like a father.
I started hearing snit remarks from customer about mothers and daughters who sleep with same boyfriend, I never attribute it to myself until a friend whose daughter was my daughter’s friend open up and told me what her daughter told her, that my daughter is sleeping with my ‘man’. Initially I doubted it. When I asked my daughter, she denied it. But I started observing them and one day I caught him touching her when they thought I was in the bedroom. I pretended as if I didn’t see anything because it was a very dicey situation. Then I paid somebody to find out and he told me their hide-out. I went and caught them red-handed. I didn’t fight or scream. I just told my daughter not to come back to the house.
It is almost two year now. Her sisters have tried to reconcile us. Instead of her to come and beg me, she still refuses. I learnt that he has rented a house for her, even bought a car for her. What I know is that anything that goes up will definitely come down. He will get tired of her and dump her. Besides, she can never be satisfied with just one man. I heard that she spends the money he gives her on clubs and small boys. I know I will laugh last.