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Failed Parenting, Symptom Of A Failing Society!



BY Ray Morphy

Rising crime, poor work ethic, corruption and all other vices are the product of failed parenting!

Indeed, failed parenting is killing Nigeria. We now have a breed of parents who simply have no idea of how to bring up their kids.

We have a new era (starting from the 70s) where both parents are working and they leave their kids to be brought up by house helps and gate men!

Indeed, failed parenting is killing Nigeria! Parents now think it is okay to abandon their kids in the name of work! They think it is okay to make up for weeks of absence in the lives of kids by just buying them things. Gifts of clothes and gifts of cash can never replace parenting!

Parenting is the result of the sum total of quality time spent with kids, not the totality of gifts given! When you are not there for your kids during their formative years, you leave gaps that will be filled by house helps, Nollywood, Channel O and the like. You leave spaces that will be filled emotionally by bad company, drugs and rebellion!

Schools by whatever names called can never replace parenting. In fact, the home schooled perform far better in tests than the school schooled, so schools no matter how expensive, can ever replace parents!

Parents must make quality time to spend with their kids if they plan to have their kids turn out right! I see teenagers drifting around, living in vast ghetto called hostels without one single adult to guide them, and you expect that wrong values such as cultism will not spring up?

The social disaster that our country is fast becoming started from homes run by parents who should never have been allowed to rear chicken not to talk of having children!

I suppose everyone read the account of the Libya returnee who disclosed that her parents know fully well that her journey to Italy was for prostitution! Indeed, they funded the journey and also provided the money that transferred her from one prostitution house to another!

Imagine that. If my mother were alive to hear that story, she would have fainted. Even now, our dead parents would be turning in their graves when they hear the tales of absentee parenting emanating from Nigeria!

Parenting is the hard work of guiding your children aright! Parenting is the effort to develop your children to their highest potential because they represent your legacy as a parent as well as the future of the entire human race! Parenting requires the loving presence of the parent and it requires a firm but loving hand!

A parent provides the barometer that guides a child even as an adult.

A parent is present in a child’s life even when the parent is long dead. Without being present while alive, how can you be present when dead?

The successful parent is that father or mother who brings up children that have character, children that live within the principles of society, not children that will subvert society or children that will resort to crime!

The other day, I saw a parent offering an under 10 years old son wine and I shook my head. I have seen parents whose children tend their marijuana farms. I have seen Nigerian parents who buy houses from proceeds of corruption in the names of their children! Yet these same parents expect their children to be upright? They expect them not to steal, not to kill, and not to commit mayhem?

I recall my days as a child, and I can say without the firm hands of my loving mother, I would have been the greatest vandal this country would have seen, but a loving and firm hand put paid to all that.

Instead, books, lectures, writing, poetry, physics and metaphysics became my thing! Can we say the same things about today’s parents?

Some of the boys I grew up with became 419, some became drug pushers while some became doctors, lawyers and the like! The great difference between the two sets was not wealth or money, it was the presence or absence of their parents!

As Jerry Gana would say in the good old days of MAMSER, “if you are a parent, parent well” and it shall be well with your family and by extension, the whole nation! To abandon your kids in the pursuit of wealth shows a lack of foresight and an indication of ignorance of the real foundations of society! Parents and family are the very foundations of society and when parents fail, society will ultimately fail!

I believe that faith based organisations, governments and NGOs should step in now to correct the parenting crisis or hell will be pale compared to what is to come!

Aluta Continua!





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