Woman on The Loose
Another wave of killings took place in Bassa LGA, killing 25 people just as a previous 18 were about to be buried. Killing has become a sport devoid of conscience. Evil is becoming worse and taking firmer root among us. Reading the latest gave me a sense of foreboding; this isn’t going to get any better as long as we aren’t addressing the real issues. No need to list them here, we all know what they are. Holding my head and wondering how we have become baser than animals; I came upon the brouhaha of the wedding gown that Ganduje’s daughter wore. It caught my eye because over the course of her wedding, she had turned out to be an unusual Northern Muslim bride. She was literally “shattering glass ceilings” but not in a career but in culture. The fact that she (and he) dressed completely at variance with how she was expected to appear on her wedding day, was rather ballsy. I could see from her pictures that she’s a vivacious, bubbly fun lady.
The groom seemed quiet but her infectious personality drew him out. I could imagine her euphoria and happiness at being finally married to her beau. There has been outrage about three factors of this wedding; 1. The extravagance of the wedding (even though we know both parents are governors!) 2. The bride’s wedding dress and 3. The couple’s public display of affection. Despite the hunger in the land, the lacklustre performance of the governors and a stubborn economy refusing to rebound and more bloodletting; the wedding dress dominated the social media. I forgot to mention that Ganduje was almost unrecognisable because of the permanent smile on his face; it was a nice tender moment to see the bride rest her head on his shoulders; a rare sight.
I wish them the very best, they’ll need it! The summary of the outrage is that the bride was naked because she wore a wedding gown that has come to be recognised as the official attire for a Christian wedding. Cries were made that her breasts were out and I literally had to use a microscope to look for the breasts. She was even better dressed than some “Christian” girls. I can remember when churches had to read the riot act to brides and demanded that their wedding gowns be made available to the pastors before the wedding date for approval- her dress would have gotten brownie points. Going down historical lane, the first wedding gown was worn in 1406 while Queen Victoria officially wore white as her wedding gown in 1840 and the culture took root from there. Up to the introduction of religion to this part of the world, we married through traditional means. I am pretty sure we wore some semblance of something. While we inherited both Islam and Christianity, the core of the religions remain unchanged but also have a lot of traditions and culture embedded in them. For instance, there is nowhere in the Bible it says a bride should wear white or even a wedding dress.
There’s nothing that stops her from wearing her traditional attire to church either!! Similarly, the oyibo people established an order of rites that came to be known as ‘Christian wedding’ and how it should look like. It became an institution but in the strict sense of it, it is actually the state (country) that legally binds a man and woman in marriage. The couple then goes on to establish a Christian marriage based on biblical principles, not a white wedding gown! In another article, we will trace the evolution from The Jewish wedding, which is an infusion of culture and religion. Religion is the problem of the world today; the very thing God took out on how to follow Him.
He wants willing people and not coerced followers. He wants an inward transformation of our selves, not outward expressions or rituals or symbols of quasi-righteousness that often morph into religion. He wants worshippers in spirit and in truth. However, life and culture is not static; with human movement and advancements, things change. We have become so fixated on what especially women wear or don’t wear. We have become more intolerant about how people dress, especially if it doesn’t conform to our “righteousness.” We have left the weightier matters of the state of the heart of a person and based our judgement on what people wear. I agree with the shouting and protest that the bride was not dressed in “Islamic attire”. Let’s be fair, there is a definition as to what is Islamic. Islam is Middle Eastern and their brides dress that way so it is safe to say this wasn’t a Middle Eastern look. But here in the North, our cultural way of dressing infuses with religion including modesty. In all this, not once did I see any castigation against the groom for dressing wrongly. The truth is irrespective of religion or tribe, the burden of men’s abilities or failures, is placed squarely on the woman’s shoulder: if a man rapes, be it a full-grown woman or a female child of six months; it is the female’s fault; if a man is facing challenges in his life or at work; it is usually alluded to as the woman’s fault; if a beautiful woman passes and the male nature in man arises, no one thinks that the man has a duty to himself to exercise self-control; admire the creation of God and move on- noooooo; it is her fault for passing by etc. Let me be clear, I am not promoting indecency or nakedness as the case maybe, I am saying that if we became concerned at the heart of people and even called them out for being inhuman and spend the amount of time being fashion police instead of heart police, we might actually address the issue of nakedness. However, I have often wondered that in our purest state, we were naked. We are even born naked. When God created Adam and Eve, they were roaming Eden naked. It was when they sinned that they got covered up. Just saying.
My pal died day before yesterday. He slumped, was rushed to hospital but got turned back by two hospitals and died on his way to the third hospital. Details as to why he was rejected by the hospitals is still sketchy. I had been meaning to reach out to him because he had dared me to unfriend him on Facebook for something I can’t remember now. We lost contact and I never followed up, holding on to the fact that he shouldn’t have dared me. And now he is gone. This was just about a year ago and I can’t even remember the reason!!!! The sadness at his loss is regret. I have decided to adopt the very profound advice, “If it won’t matter in five years, then don’t waste five minutes worrying about it. (I overheard my daughter reciting it just the other day). Sir-K, too late now to make that simple phone call. Goodbye
When A President Is Surprised
When a president is surprised by two things: not realising that his order had been disobeyed two months after and that it just occurred to him that he had not been receiving any briefing based on his order. What are we to beleive? However, it is the president’s mouthpieces that keep me surprised. The lack of professionalism and levity in their responses cannot be made up. When FA absolves the president’s lack of knowledge because he is not omniscient;
NO! You don’t say?? When he also reminds us of the president’s status as a (grand) father as the reason for not immediately sacking the IGP; I’m aghast. The security system is upside down and we are being given excuses. If there was ever a time to regain some semblance of control of this government, this was the time. Since a query has been given, it would be nice to read the contents of the query and the response. There’s no need to hide it. Our linen is already hanging dry in the market square.
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