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Woman On The Loose

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Protection From Mechanics

It was a routine mechanic job; change the brake disc. I would have continued managing the disc as it was pending an improvement in my financial situation. Anyway, reality won-my problem with the car would be much worse if I didn’t nip whatever it currently suffered from in the bud.
I found the service of the budding entrepreneur very convenient; he would take the load off you by baby-sitting the mechanic while you went on about your business, including sourcing the spare parts required for a small fee. He returned the vehicle with two lights on the dashboard signifying there was something amiss. It was irritating because I had been away and expected to come back to a fixed car. When I asked him why he hadn’t addressed the issue of the lights, he mumbled an incoherent reason and polished it off with, ‘I am sorry’. I don’t want to recount the horrors I went through the next two days which included him ‘driving’ through a half tank in one day (a full tank takes me a week), standing and waiting for an hour and half after he said he was round the corner and finally returning the car-unfixed! The short of this is, he knew that the mechanic had broken something (so now, when you see me taking a turn or negotiating a turn, you will shake your head and say, “learner of the worst kind’) and came back with the vehicle because he would be liable. I just collected my car keys and didn’t say a word. So, not only did he spoil my car, he inconvenienced me for two days, even if I said a word, then what? Now, I have to start all over to fix the car, which is going to cost me more inconvenience and money. There is no system in place to deal with this sector; they spoil/damage your car through, say sorry and you are left with the liability and no redress. Insurance will not touch this with a ten-foot pole.

6000 + Billionaires: 180M Nigerians

I had no idea we had so many billionaires or is it just me that thinks 6000+ is a humongous number for a population of 180M and this is 6,000+ of non-tax paying peeps. As in, there is another set of billionaires that are paying, so the total number is more. Anyway, this rant is short because after researching, I got that India, with a population of 1.31 billion people and counting is home to only 131 billionaires, while China has a population of 1.38billion and 819 billionaires. Something isn’t adding up but the tax figures.

Of Joujou

Me: *flipping through the newspapers. Reads; Libya coach Adel Amrouche; “For me, I’m ready for Nigeria; if they want we can play both games in Nigeria; they believe in juju and we believe in God.”
Still Me: not sure what to make of comment, shrugs shoulders. Picks up phone and scrolls through WhatsApp messages. Stumbles upon video with a well-dressed female preaching about raising “altars for children by ‘sowing seeds of one thousand dollars.’” In another clip, ‘offering time is not blessing time, it is judgement time and if you don’t give you can never be prosperous’. Okay.
Again still me: puts down phone and picks up newspaper and re-reads. Drops it, picks phone and continues listening. “One day some of you will sow N1m and I will fly my own jet”. *Amens rent the air. Excited cheering and clapping** Glances at the newspaper. Back to the video, “I want to help you in 2018, you are going to give God N1m seed. Hurry up, I don’t beg people to give oo”. I watch to my dismay as the altar rapidly fills up with intended givers of N1m in exchange for more money (or something else) from God.
“At the back of the envelope write three things: your name, email address, and phone number. Pastor, I am giving you a prophetic instruction: at the end of today before you sleep, take these envelopes to your house by your bedside. Put anointing oil on your hands; put the envelope between your two hands and pray in tongues for a few minutes. You don’t even have to interpret and that’s it”.
Back newspaper: “However, Amrouche tweeted: “I apologise to the Nigeria football community for using the words JUJU in the press conference in SA.
Finally Me: Should we be expecting other apologies?

Season One Of The N10, 000 Loan

Whether or not the distribution of N10, 000 collateral (really??) and interest free loans to about 2m Nigerians seems awkwardly telling near elections, there’s some respite at least; there is hunger in the land (don’t let the new wave of groups buying forms for financially capable aspirants confuse you!).
The scheme is also in direct fulfillment of the condition precedent to the repatriation of the Abacha Savings. For now, the answer to the question: how this will be measured for success and sustained doesn’t seem to be on the horizon.
For now, the scheme has been launched in Lagos, Kano, Abia, Akwa Ibom, Katsina, Osun, FCT, and Kogi extending to other states to include Oyo, Cross Rivers, and Kaduna.
We should not lose sight of the fact that this is only 2m out of 180m Nigerians less the 6,772 billionaires, less 469 NASS members, less the whole lot of the executive, 774 LGA chairmen and 36 governors. Season two of Sharing the Savings should start by December; coming to a neighbourhood near you.



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