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Once Upon A Time A Con Artist

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Watching the alleged con artist, Amina Mohammed aka Justina Oluoha on TV trying to hide under the table and trying every other method she could to evade the bright lights of the cameras ended up being an exercise in futility but her defiance and vocal nature pointed to one of three things: she was either incredibly brave and was fighting to tell her story so that she wouldn’t ‘disappear’, incredibly stupid or really had powerful ‘dinner mates’. It was also telling how she was able to breach security not once or twice and even impersonating someone who she doesn’t look like! As the Hausa saying goes; da mai kasa a ke cin gari” (it is with the owners of the land that you can achieve success). It would really be interesting to hear what this canary has to sing about.

For The Faithful Departed

With the recent blows that the once ragtag tagged Boko haram has dealt to the Nigeria Army, a state of emergency of some sort needs to be declared. It is no longer funny. What is not funny also is the different orders being made by all who should. Why are we always running around like headless chickens?  The losses in each attack are extremely painful; almost like having a group of flies felled by insecticide!! We honestly need to know what is going on. It is not sending a confident message to us with the alarming rate of massacres occurring. Without knowing much, it seems that the gap we suffer in this war against terror is strategy and without it, we have inevitably become a terror onto ourselves. Strategy in how we deploy troops, when we deploy, who we deploy and with what we deploy. How we gather intel, what we do with the intel and then engage strategic communication and information/intel gathering. But the biggest question is how do we strategise against an ideology? I’m not even sure if the insurgents know why they are still warring. I can only hope with the current orders given (especially the one given that Buratai should stay put till stability is achieved in the region) will yield something. Hopefully there will be a rejig with the current promotions also.

Where Art Thou Our Internet Service?

Not one “pim” has been heard from anyone in charge of our communication on the cause of the recent horrible service we have been receiving, how long it will last and what measures are being taken to mitigate them. Case in point on Saturday by 9am, I had a plumbing situation, called the plumber and got a quote. It was early enough for him to run to the market, pick up supplies, make it back to the hinterlands where I live and repair the issue. I made a transfer from my First Bank account. The problem was five minutes after I had made the transfer, he still hadn’t received the money. The whole of Saturday no show, Sunday no show as we still waited for word that he had received the alert but Monday, I decided to call First Bank Contact Centre that became another story-none of the ‘contact lines’ were working. The only one that eventually went through was not the Contact center. Each time it got to the four-minute mark the line would cut. Eventually, that line too became unreachable. I even tweeted at them but seems the network affected my tweets too. In frustration I drove to the bank. In honing my ability to do the right thing, I approached a lady at one of the desks in the banking hall, who pointed at a seat for me to sit and wait my turn. I promptly obeyed. Out of the three desks, only one was manned. I was second in line when a man who had sat to wait approached the only sitting customer rep that we were all waiting for. The rep answered him despite the person in front of him. When we protested he casually informed us that he thought we were being attended to by his colleague which happened to be an empty chair and the lady who told us to sit and wait was not a staff of the bank!! Apparently, he had assumed we’re clairvoyant to know that someone behind the desk, touching the bank’s computer was not a staff. *eyes rolling*

I don’t have to spell out his unprofessional attitude which included ignoring us; we have become used to being abused and accepting it as part of being a Nigerian.  Once his colleague eventually surfaced and apologised on his behalf (another very bad trait we have), she explained that the money was in No man’s land and would either be reversed or delivered by evening. I pre-filled a form in the event neither took place. Eventually, some got reversed, others got paid. And this is just one of my many stories, I felt sorry for Shoprite; you should hear theirs. At a point all their POS were not connecting, and it cost them chaos and business as people had to abandon purchases. Then 2/3 of the ATMS in the mall were not dispensing while the third had a queue as if Armageddon had been predicted. Yet not a word. I can imagine the catalogue of losses and complaints and uncertainties this had cost and who bears the cost? I blame the minister of Communication.

From Poland With Love

It should have been like music to my ears when the President promised not to complain again about the problems his administration met on ground and he would quit lamenting over Nigeria’s history of corruption and mismanagement of resources in faraway Poland. He stated it was time to face the issues of the country head on. Alas, it wasn’t. I then recalled we are in December 2018 and there could be a change in government come May 2019. So, I was really upset that despite screaming ourselves hoarse that he should focus on the task ahead and stop complaining, he finally comes to realise our wisdom now that he barely has enough time to focus!! What a bummer. I do recall, he is comfortable with being slow but this really slow coming around makes it to the Guinness Book of Records. Of note was the tone of his message to the Nigerian community in Poland and I’m going to take a stab and say he must have either, 1) changed his speech coach 2) Abike had a direct influence on him since she put together the event or, 3) it was just really cold in Poland.

 

When you read the reason for why we have some of the clashes we have and the reasons behind them, you want to bang your head against a wall. Cross River is in the news for a deadly communal clash; people have once again killed senselessly in the name of land. You really want to ask why it is taking us this long to evolve and be civil? Why can’t we use other methods of conflict resolution except violence? It seems I will have to answer these questions myself.

 

I was totally confused by the pronouncements of Father Mbaka.  **

 





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