Many wake up suddenly and ask how they got married to the stranger they share their lives with. The person with whom they share little to nothing.
You try severally to understand why a move to develop yourself would be the source of trouble between you and someone who claims to love you, but the answer never comes.
Too many times, it’s the fear and insecurity of what that development might bring that leads to it being opposed. What seems like just a disagreement can end a relationship.
For most, an assessment is made before a partner is settled for. At the very least, you pick someone who has basic things in common with you, someone who shares your most important life direction.
Many partners get lost during the journey.
Take 2 OND graduates who get married because they have enough to do so and they share so much. It would be easy to talk, play and live together because they vibrate on the same frequency.
If one of them decides to go for the HND, the life of that spouse will change a little bit, maybe a lot.
If that partner upgrades to PGD, the mentality will change again. By the time it becomes MSc, there would be even less to interact about.
You can only imagine how much gap will exist when it becomes a conversation between A PhD holder and an OND graduate.
It will not be the same and cracks may start out from there.
That’s education; now imagine the changes that occur to the mind at work, through interactions, etc.
You don’t have to take every step your partner takes but you have to make sure that you don’t get left so far behind you are no longer able to interact and have things to interact about.
Bottom-line, if your partner is developing and you don’t pay attention to what you have at home, it will disappear.
If your partner is developing, develop yourself too.
Unfortunately, what we have today is a situation where spouses will try to block the development of the other out of fear that it will make them irrelevant.
If you don’t want to develop yourself, it is unfair to stop your spouse from doing so simply because you are uncomfortable with how it will affect your relationship.