People deserve a chance and everybody can change but this change is not guaranteed especially after wedding. In fact, a change before wedding is one you also want to be careful about because it may be a temporary measure to land you permanently.
Of course he can pretend but no matter how good one is at pretending, there are always slips.
Check your ability to have easy conversation with him. This is the foundation of everything else. A couple that can talk things out is a couple that can conquer any challenge.
Check his temper. This is easy to hide but easy to slip doing. So, he may pretend around you but check how he treats others when he is conscious and even when he doesn’t know you are observing.
Check his definition of marriage. This is perhaps one of the biggest things people ignore. If you marry a traditional person who has a view of a subdued wife, it will be a tough ask to change him in the marriage. Is it possible? Yes, you may need a counselor for this but even with that, it is better avoided.
Check how open he is with information. This is one of the pointers to what sort of husband he’d be. Will he be someone who carries his wife along and shares things with you? This gives you an idea.
Check how he treats his family. A man who treats his family bad is unlikely to be a good husband. Even when they are at fault, you’d still see deeper character in how he treats them. A man who treats his own family bad is unlikely to treat yours good even though this is not impossible.
Check the independence of his mind. Believe it when I tell you, you do not want to be the wife who comes in between a dominant mother and a son who cannot hold his own. It is a sure recipe for marital aches and trouble.
Check his temper.
Check your ability to have easy conversation with him.
Check his friends and the manner of friendships he keeps. Don’t just check the friends, observe the friendships. In these, you’d find many things in their pure form.
Check his faith – Marriage is heavy, a man who will lead the home needs to stand strong here.
Check how he reacts when things are good.
Check how he reacts when he’s under pressure.
Check his desire to be domesticated. This will tell you how likely he is to be a spouse who is about the home and wants to keep making his home better. A person who is not domesticated will struggle to stay at home, let alone contribute or help out.
Finally, check how much he truly shows care for you when you are pleasant and when you are not as pleasant. Watch things like his reaction to you saying no to sex – a person who wants you for more will wait.
These are things to BEGIN with before you even begin to talk about considering a man for marriage.