HOW I OVERCAME: ‘I Accepted My Parents’ Choice Of A Husband’

For several years, Cebawa lived without a suitor, even though many came to ask for her hand in marriage.

While graduating from the university, she had hoped to settle down with her older coursemate who helped her to overcome her academic challenges. They were a perfect match, well-known on campus and respected because the duo conducted themselves very well.

Things, however, went awry after their National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), when her friend (Andrew) approached Cebawa’s parents for their consent to marry her. Even Cebawa was shocked by the response and sudden change of attitude towards him. The intervention of family and church members did not change anything, as her parents insisted, “Andrew will not marry our daughter.”

Worse still, no serious reason was given for their action. After three years of waiting, Cebawa pleaded with Andrew to search elsewhere, as she would not go against her parents’ will.

Her action was strange because it occurred in an era when love marriages dominated conversations about relationships.

Twenty years later, her story offers a quiet reminder that some unions built on family guidance and patience can still work.

Cebawa was a young woman with dreams typical of many girls of her age. But when her parents introduced her to a man they believed would make a good husband, she faced a decision that would shape the rest of her life.

Rather than resist the arrangement, she chose to trust her parents’ judgment.

“I didn’t really know him well at the time,” she recalled with a smile during a recent conversation. “But my parents had always guided me well. I believed they wanted the best for me.”

The man who later became her husband was known for being hardworking and respectful. Though their courtship was brief, their marriage began on a foundation of family support and shared expectations.

The early years, she admits, required patience and adjustment. Like many couples, they had to learn each other’s habits, preferences and temperaments.

“It wasn’t instant love,” she said. “But with time, understanding grew.”

Today, two decades later, the marriage has blossomed into a partnership marked by mutual respect and stability. The couple has raised four children together and weathered the ordinary storms that test most families—financial challenges, parenting responsibilities and the demands of everyday life.

Friends and neighbours often point to their home as an example of harmony.

For Cebawa, the secret has been simple: commitment and respect. “Marriage is not always about how it starts,” she explained.

“Sometimes it is about how willing you are to grow together.”

Family members say the couple’s enduring bond also reflects the cultural value of community involvement in marriage decisions—an age-old practice that is gradually fading in many parts of modern society.

Yet, while arranged marriages may no longer be as common as they once were, Cebawa’s experience shows that when guided by wisdom, patience and mutual effort, such unions can evolve into lasting relationships.