Have you ever come in contact with someone, had great conversations, good time and shared interests that you look forward to continuing that experience only to discover that the other party is not in the same mental space with you?
Sometimes, the issue is not that they do not crave your contact, after all, humans, they say, are social animals. It may be that they did not get the same experience as you did because of a habit that you displayed during interaction. That’s sad!
Most people under normal circumstances don’t intend to create discomfort when in contact with other humans. However, it can happen when, whether intentionally or not, personal boundaries are crossed, or behaviour comes off as inconsiderate.
Whether in social, professional, or casual settings, understanding how our actions impact those around us is key to maintaining healthy and positive relationships. By recognising the habits that often cause discomfort, we can adjust our behaviour to promote more harmonious connections.
Hereunder are five habits that can cause others discomfort in both personal and professional spheres:
1. Over-sharing of Personal Details:
We know you sincerely do not gossip about another person. It is your life story, your ‘details’ and your personal experience and it’s important to be open and honest with people, but there’s a fine line between being transparent and oversharing!
Revealing intimate or overly personal information too soon can make others feel uncomfortable, this could range from sharing too much about your personal life, your relationships, or even your medical history.
Such a habit could easily sell you off as untrustworthy. People may feel pressured to engage with topics they’re not ready for or may not know how to respond to highly personal information. It can also create a sense of imbalance in the conversation if one person is dominating with personal revelations.
Be mindful of the context and the person you’re sharing with. Gauge their comfort level and ensure the conversation is balanced. Be open, but keep certain details for closer relationships or more private settings.
2. Interrupting or Talking Over Others:
Everyone wants to be heard and listened to, so interrupting someone when they’re speaking can be frustrating and disrespectful.
Accept that other people’s stories, experiences and opinions are just as important to them as yours is to you.
It could be tempting to jump in with your thoughts, especially when you’re passionate about a topic, but constantly cutting people off can be a major source of discomfort.
It can give the impression that you don’t value other people’s opinions or that their thoughts are less important. It can also make the conversation feel more like a competition to talk rather than a meaningful exchange.
Practice active listening and give people space to finish their thoughts. If you’re eager to share, wait for a natural pause in the conversation. It not only helps the conversation flow but shows respect for the other person’s perspective.
3. Excessive Complaints and Negativity:
You don’t own all the problems in the world, and everyone you encounter, regardless of how wealthy, powerful, or content they appear, has troubles that affect them occasionally.
Constantly focusing on the negative aspects of life, especially in social situations, can drain the energy from a room, while everyone has tough times, being stuck in a negative mindset can bring others down, leading to discomfort or frustration.
People generally want to be around positivity and optimism. If you’re always complaining or focusing on what’s wrong, it can feel like a downer to others, and they may start avoiding interactions with you to protect their energy.
Constructively share challenges and balance them with positive updates or a focus on solutions.
Be mindful of the tone you set in conversations sometimes, it’s okay to let go of negativity for a while and focus on lighter topics.
4. Invasive Questions or Personal Space Violations:
Sometimes, people ask questions that are overly invasive or too personal for the relationship they have.
Similarly, invading someone’s personal space, whether by standing too close or touching without permission, can make people feel uneasy.
Physical closeness without consent can also feel threatening or intrusive.
Asking about sensitive topics like finances, romantic relationships, or personal struggles can put others on the spot, making them feel vulnerable or judged.
Respect personal boundaries, both emotional and physical. If you’re unsure, it’s always better to err on the side of caution.
Pay attention to body language; if someone seems to lean back or avoid eye contact, it may be a sign they’re uncomfortable.
5. Constantly Checking Your Phone:
In today’s digital world, it’s common to check phones frequently. However, constantly glancing at your screen while in a conversation can make people feel ignored or unimportant. It gives off the impression that you’re not fully present, and that’s something most people find uncomfortable.
It signals that the conversation or the person isn’t engaging enough to hold your attention. This can be especially hurtful during more personal or serious exchanges.
Put your phone away when you’re talking to someone or in a social setting. If you need to check it, be upfront and ask for a moment to do so. People appreciate it when you make an effort to show you’re present with them.
