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hen was the last time you were alone?
Not lonely, or isolated, or missing someone. But alone, happily, by choice?
If you’re still thinking, it’s been too long.
The reason it’s been so long is probably because, in today’s world, we are never truly alone. We always have a notification popping up on our screen, our work phone ringing at 10pm, or our Instagram feed waiting to be consumed. We crave connection with others and, as a result, never have time to connect with ourselves.
Another reason we dismiss alone time is because there’s such a negative stigma around ‘being alone’. Just so we’re clear, being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. There are some incredible benefits to having time alone, but we simply never hear about them.
Well, fasten your seatbelt because you’re going to hear about ‘em now.
Why You Should Spend Time With Yourself
What better way to convince you to spend time with yourself than to show you the countless benefits!
We guess the introverts are nodding along as the extroverts are screaming internally…
Don’t fret, don’t fret. We’re not taking away any of your social time, because that’s important too.
Keep reading to find out why spending time alone is good for you
Many people view alone time as the best thing ever. But you? You may view it as a fate worse than death. Instead of relaxing and enjoying spending time by yourself, you pass the hours pacing your apartment, or wondering what the heck to do with yourself.
It’s not an ideal reaction, but it is a totally normal one. I mean, think about it: If you’re used to being connected on a 24/7 basis, then of course the idea of going solo will feel a bit scary. Not to mention, it’s always a tad unnerving to see what the ol’ brain will cook up once it’s sans distractions.
In fact, that latter point is a big reason why so many people hate the idea of spending time all by their lonesome. “Some people struggle with being alone because they cannot be alone with their thoughts, “They feel that if they keep moving, and stay distracted with other things, they will not have to deal with this material.”
But…What Is There To Do When You’re Spending Time Alone?
Ok ok, you’re all on board. But how do you actually spend time with yourself? Is there more to it than just sitting in silence with no distractions? You bet! Here are a few other recommendations that might inspire you.
- Ease Into Alone Time
If the thought of spending time alone makes your blood run cold, then start off slowly. “Don’t jump right into a weekend long Netflix marathon,” Martinez says. “Build up your tolerance and find activities that you enjoy that also serve to calm and distract while you are alone.” Before long, larger swaths of solitude won’t feel so scary. And hey — you might even find it enjoyable.
- Be your own source of Validation
Yes, it feels pretty great to get constant texts, and to have constant plans. But take a second and ask yourself why you crave this 24/7 attention. Could it be you don’t know how to give yourself validation? If that’s the case, try spending time alone — without your phone, tablet, or laptop — and really tune into yourself, according to Gabrielle Garrett on TinyBuddha.com. You’ll soon realize you don’t really need anybody else but yourself.
- Go to a concert.
If an artist you love is playing a venue near you, buy yourself a ticket even if no one else wants to tag along. Attending a show on your own allows you the freedom to plan your night the way you want. Don’t want to see the opener? Arrive late. Did he already sing all your favorite songs? Go home early. Should you sing along to the music at the top of your lungs? Absolutely, especially if you’re surrounded by strangers.
- Visit a museum.
Strolling at your own pace through the different exhibits you’ve been dying to see on your own can be liberating. With no one around to rush you through, you can take your time to appreciate the artwork around you without hearing, “Mom, can we leave now?”
- Gaze at the stars.
An open, star-studded sky works well to put things into perspective. Grab a blanket and head to a spot where you’ll have the best visibility. Instead of running through your to-do list for the next day or worrying about the fight you had with your significant other, try to unwind by focusing on the beauty above you instead.
- Teach yourself a new instrument.
Have you always wanted to learn to play guitar? The violin? The flute? Here’s your chance. Check your local thrift store to see if you can buy an instrument secondhand, then head to YouTube for free, beginner-level lessons.
- Get On Board With Those Hobbies
“Some people who find that they don’t like spending time alone are simply bored when they do so,” If that’s your problem, then snag new some hobbies, ASAP. Use the silence to read, or paint, or knit. Or take advantage of an empty apartment and marathon some movies, or learn how to cook. This is your time to try new things, without any distractions.
Pick Up An Old Hobby Or Try A New One
What better way to pass the time than by doing something you love? Maybe it’s something that you did as a teenager. Or maybe it’s something that you’ve always wanted to do but your partner hates.
Life is short and now is the time to do that thing you’ve always dreamed of doing, whether it’s knitting, photography, or gardening. Plus, when you have something fun to look forward to, you’ll be motivated to plan more alone time for yourself in the future.
- People watch.
Grab a coffee and head to a place in town that gets heavy foot traffic — your favorite park, your local art museum, or even the cafe you like to frequent. Let your imagination run wild as you concoct backstories for the people walking past you.
- Go kayaking.
Considering there’s only room for one person in most kayaks, this water activity is perfect to do on your own — as long as you consider yourself an experienced kayaker, that is. If you’ve been paddling out onto lakes with your friends for years, consider spending a few hours exploring alone. Kayaking on your own is empowering: You’ll learn to trust yourself, your body, and your decisions.
- Wake up early to watch the sunrise.
Everyone deserves to start the day with something beautiful. Whether you hike to a local vista that gets a great view of the horizon or just kick back in your backyard with a cup of freshly brewed coffee, taking some time to be alone with your thoughts can be the perfect way to prepare for a long day.
- Learn a new language.
Exercise your brain muscles by teaching yourself to speak a language you’ve always been interested in learning. There are so many resources available online that vary in intensity, depending on how much time you have to dedicate. For instance, Rosetta Stone offers in-depth learning software in 24 different languages that range in subscription length, from six months to two years, while Duolingo’s free app offers bite-sized lessons daily in your language of choice.
- Lay on the beach.
Spend a glorious morning with your toes in the sand and your nose buried in a book — without your kids. Though you may love frolicking in the waves with them, you’ll benefit from taking some time away to soak up the sun and recharge without stressfully scanning the shoreline to make sure they’re safe.
- Try a new workout class.
Whether it’s cycling, kickboxing, or HIIT, chances are there’s a group exercise class you’ve been dying to try. Though you’re showing up solo, you’ll experience the evidence-based benefits of working out with a group, like the positive effects it has on social bonding, pain tolerance, and athletic performance. What does this mean? More calories burned for you, and a check off of your bucket list.
- Experiment in the kitchen.
Some of us are born chefs, while others struggle to whip up tasty meals in the kitchen. Cooking — alone — gives you the time to experiment with different recipes and sharpen your skills, and you won’t have your significant other complaining about burnt bread in the background.
- Have a spa day.
While more research is needed to confirm the benefits of getting a massage, this form of self-care may be helpful for anxiety, depression, and headaches, according to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health.
- Get organized.
If your basement is practically unrecognizable beneath a mountain toys, laundry, and cleaning supplies, it’s time to get organized. Clutter can lead to stress and impact your productivity, so make sure you give yourself some alone time to clean up. Plus, it’s way more meditative of a task than you realize.
- Meditate.
Speaking of meditation … there’s more evidence now than ever that meditation is beneficial for your mental and physical health. According to Everyday Health, meditation can improve concentration, reduce stress, prevent cognitive decline, and keep your brain healthy and alert as you age.
- Volunteer.
Sometimes it may feel like you’re struggling in your personal life, work life, and family life, but in reality, there’s someone out there that is less fortunate then you. Taking the time to give back is both humbling and eye-opening, and you don’t need a buddy to do it. It’s a great way to show yourself that you have what it takes to make a difference. Plus, doing good makes you feel good.
- Create a piece of art.
Maybe you’ve never thought of yourself as the “artistic type,” but everyone has a creative side. Experiment with paint, make a piece of jewelry, or craft something you saw on Pinterest — all of these activities will sharpen your creative abilities, which in turn will improve your problem solving skills and give you a fresh perspective on life.
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