Fitness Coach Maje Ayida has shared how his highly publicised divorce from media personality, Toke Makinwa, plunged him into a year-long battle with depression, nearly destroying his life and career.
Speaking during a recent testimony at a United Kingdom church pastored by Nigerian clergy, Bolaji Idowu, Ayida recounted how the public fallout from the failed marriage left him ashamed, paranoid, and socially withdrawn.
“I went through a divorce that was very publicised and that left me feeling very alone,” he said. “I withdrew from society, I was really ashamed of my situation, not just for myself, self-esteem was affected, but also, legacy is very important to me, I was ashamed of what I had done to my family name. As a result, I literally went into hiding.”
According to Ayida, the emotional toll of the experience affected every area of his life including losing business deals, stopping to go to work, and his struggle to get out of bed each morning.
“I didn’t want to interact with anyone; I wanted to stay in my own space, stay at home. I found it very difficult to work. I lost motivation.
“I lost the essence to even get up in the morning. What am I getting up for? Everyone already feels a certain way about me, and so I decided to lose work, which is when it really started to get to me. As a man, your work is your identity. I started to lose opportunities. It became a real problem for me,” he confessed.
Ayida revealed that the mental strain became so severe that he developed paranoia, constantly feeling judged whenever he stepped outside.
He added that this only heightened his anxiety and deepened his isolation.
“What’s sleep? I didn’t even know what that was. I had insomnia, I was paranoid,” he said. “The noise around me, even though I was in silence, was insane.”
His turning point, he said, came when he made the bold decision to confront his reality.
Ayida said he found that accountability was the most transformative step after researching on ways to overcome depression.
“I decided to make a decision for my own survival because I was living in hopelessness.
“I checked out of life for a whole year to regroup, and I realised that I was in a very dark space, I was in a hole and I needed to get out of it.
“I took the blame on myself; it made me feel worse at first, but eventually helped me take practical steps,” he shared.
Maje and Toke got married in 2014, but their union faced significant challenges just two years later due to startling infidelity allegations.
In 2017, Maje took legal action against Toke, suing her for ₦100 million over her revealing memoir, “On Becoming,” which he argued harmed his reputation.
By November 2020, a Lagos High Court ruled in his favour, directing Toke and her publishers to pay ₦500,000 each to a charitable organisation and to cease printing the book’s defamatory sections.
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