Red Flags To Look Out For As A Lady In A Relationship

Being in a relationship as a lady comes with a lot of emotion and excitement, as you have finally gotten a man to call your own. An end has come to questions like When will you go into a relationship? Don’t you have plans of settling down? When will you bring a man home?

In the midst of the excitement and sigh of relief from pressure from parents and relatives, you should not lose sight of these  red flags in relationship as this could determine a lot of things in your life in the nearest future.

Remember, it is often said that , having a healthy relationship is possible, it’s a journey which requires compromise and understanding individual differences. A failed relationship is better than a failed home so don’t ignore  the underlisted red flags, because, in all your happiness is key.

Red Flags :

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In relationships, red flags are certain behavioral patterns or signs that indicate that you are or may be in a relationship with the wrong individual.

1.Physical, Emotional,  Mental Abuse

Physical, emotional, and mental abuse are undeniable red flags in any relationship. Physical abuse is easier to pick up but emotional and mental abuse can be just as damaging in the long run.  No one has the right to use you as a scapegoat for their own problems. Those problems should be dealt with constructively and fairly. Abuse is never an acceptable response to a problem.

2. Overly Controlling Behaviour

An overly controlling behaviour is a common red flags . People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. A partner who is controlling in any way likely has deep personal issues they must work on. Rethink your relationship if your partner tries to control who you see, who you talk to, where you go, how you spend your money, what you do online, what your body looks like, what you eat, or even what you wear.

3. Constant Jealousy

It is natural to feel jealous when your partner or friend is spending a lot of time with others. However, that is not an excuse to let it cloud your judgment. Someone who is constantly jealous of your connection with others cares more about what they want than your happiness. If your partner is very jealous, this may lead to controlling behavior.

4. Mismatched Relationship Goals

If your relationship goals are at odds, this could be a sign that it’s time to walk away. For instance, if your long term goal of being in a relationship is to get married and asking your partner, he says he doesn’t have that in his plans then that is an indication to let go. Remember, can two walk together unless they be agreed?

5) Constant Put-downs

A person you’re in a relationship with should  build you up, not break you down. When you love someone, you are committed to supporting and uplifting them. A partner frequently criticizing you or putting you down, even if it’s in a subtle or passive-aggressive way, can affect your self-esteem. When he makes statements such as, You’re lucky I’m still with you “ What do you even know how to do?”

Then, this is a signal for you to let go of such relationship before you become a person with no self esteem.

6) Lack Of Trust

Trust is an important foundation in any healthy relationship. A major sign of an unstable relationship is when partners, friends, colleagues, or family members distrust you. Of course, we all have doubts sometimes. But they shouldn’t stop us from trusting the people in our lives to do the right thing. Healthy relationships require trust on both sides.

7) Unwillingness To Compromise

 If your partner isn’t willing to compromise even when it comes to the little things, you should proceed with caution. In healthy relationships, it’s crucial that you consider each other’s needs and desires and that compromise isn’t a one-way street.

8) Substance Abuse 

Substance abuse is a clear red flag. If your partner is into substance abuse, this indicates that he struggles with impulse control and self-destructive habits. Depending on the substance, any relationship can quickly turn toxic if addiction is present. With that said, substance abuse is an illness and your loved one might need help.

10) Frequent lying

Constantly catching your partner being dishonest isn’t a good sign. “We are all guilty of telling white lies; however, if you notice that your partner is consistently deceiving or getting caught in lies, it is a red flag,” says Samara Quintero, a licensed marriage and family therapist at “Choosing Therapy. Being lied to by your partner is a show of disrespect and lack of trust.