Ephesians 5:25-33; HEBREWS 13:4; Revelation 21:8; 22:12-15
Look at what the scriptures says, the Spirit of God and the Lord says such a person who cannot provide for his family has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.
Therefore, you must ensure that you can provide for the one you are bringing into your house.
- Pivotal Stability Of Christlike Charity (1 Corinthians 13:1–7; Acts 24:16; 1 Timothy 1:5-6)
My brother and sister, after the wedding, the central thing is going to be charity, that is, love. But if we are self centered, self controlled and self willed, if we are thoughtlessly selfish and self centered that we do not think about the other person, we have not allowed love to reign in our family.
We need the pivotal stability of Christlike charity before and during the marriage. Establish the love in your heart before you get married because afterwards, it will be difficult to achieve (I Corinthians 13:1-7) It is not enough to claim to be saved, sanctified and baptized in the Holy Ghost, you can even speak in tongues, without love, the marriage will not be able to stand. Charity is above every other gift for the family.
You can be fanatically religious and have no charity. Love is the central thing that binds the family together one year after wedding, ten, twenty, thirty, fifty years after. After the excitement of how he or she looks, or carries or comport self wears off, and the good looks vanish, love will continue to keep the family going for years.
Love is kind, and is able to ward off interference from outside the family, including the in laws from both sides.
vs 4. Love is not puffed off, is not proud. Someone who is proud and looks down on everyone on getting married will continue and he or she will belittle the spouse.
vs 5. There is consideration for the feelings of the spouse before doing anything, thus, he does not behave unseemly. Some people are easily provoked, they flare up at the slightest provocation, they threaten to break their courtships as soon as they are provoked, please, allow him or her to break it up now than when you get married. Charity must circle and keep everything together.
vs 7. We must bear in mind that everything will not be rosy in marriage, it will not be a bed of roses. Suspicion, accusations from one partner to the other will not keep the marriage together. There should be the ability to hope and believe strongly in the union.
- Powerful Spirit, Our Comforter (Romans 8:14; John 16:13; Exodus 15:13; Romans 8:26-27,34)
You are led into marriage by the spirit of God and you have the conviction, not confusion that this is the will of God, so when different thoughts come, it will still be in your mind that you were led by the spirit of God. You will not be led by what the man possesses, the job he has, the tribe he comes from, the encouragement of both parents, or the brethren in the church, you are to be led clearly by the spirit of God so that you can continue to have confidence in the marriage.
If you allow all these pivotal foundation stones to be laid before the wedding is contracted, you can go on and have a successful marriage. Examine yourselves and leaders, examine the unions you are giving consent to, either with our children or members of the church.
- PURPOSEFUL EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE IN A CHRIST-CENTERED FAMILY (Ephesians 5:25-28)
After the wedding, do not forget that the central thing in marriage is love, not just love to satisfy the flesh, but love in all its ramifications.
Apostle Paul by the spirit of God had no Christian family to use as example for the Ephesians to follow in their family life because Ephesus was a gentile nation given wholly to the worship of dumb idols and the kind of marriages they had were mostly polygamous, and based on enquiries and sacrifices to idols. So, he could not say, love your wife as your father loved your mother, the only example he could refer to was “as Christ loved the church”.
My brothers and sisters, we make a great and unscriptural mistake when we refer our spouses to our father and mother as examples to follow.
Maybe our parents did well, but our perfect and ultimate model or pattern is Christ the Lord. Husbands and wives must love themselves whether they are together or apart (for example, whether one is at work, and the other is in another place). Whether one is promoted to a high position or not, the love is still there. Even though Christ has gone to heaven and is on the right hand of God, He still loves the church. It is an ongoing, eternal and unbreakable love.
– Imagine Christ loving us and not giving us any word of promise, saying He does not want to commit Himself to us…
– Imagine Him not giving us any word of encouragement, saying we should encourage ourselves since we have the Bible…
– Imagine Him not giving us any encouragement with His presence and power,
– But He kept giving and giving. He gave Himself to the church because of love and this is the pattern, model and example we should follow.
vs 28. Men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. This is another level of love. No one wants any pain to come to any part of the body, or tolerate hunger, thirst and sickness. Anytime there is any need in your body, you quickly supply it. The same way the husband must love his wife, and the wife must love her husband as her own body. If he does not love his wife, he does not love his own joy, happiness, progress, he does not please God and get to heaven.
You might love a thousand and million people outside your home, serving and making sacrifices for them here and there, if you do not love your spouse, you do not love yourself. After loving your spouse, you can now go and love people outside for salvation or service.
- Proper Expression Of Love In The Family (Ephesians 5:2,32; 2 Corinthians 5:14-15; 1 John 4:11-12, 17-18,21; Philippians 2:1–5)
This is not theoretical or mental love. It is not theological or doctrinal love but practical to the point that the person living with you can tell through your actions and body languages. No one ever hates his own flesh, no matter the flaws or shortcomings. You may even wound any part of your body, yet you will never exchange such part for another. The more the pain and challenge you have, the more love and care you have for your body. This is exactly how to love your spouse.
vs 31. Married people should not have the habit of running to the parents, leaders and pastors in the church, discussing their family. They should be able to manage their families with all situations by themselves. A level of maturity comes with being married. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his own wife, and they two shall be one flesh”. The word join, cleave, glued to is like when you glue two things together, separating them will be to destroy one, the other or both. This is the kind of union and togetherness we ought to have in the family.
vs 32. If you tear the family apart, you are tearing the mystery of Christ apart from the church. Husband and wife in particular – forget about other people and family, forget about a book you read – love your spouse as commanded by God.
- Permanent Existence Of Love In The Family (Ephesians 5:30-31; Matthew 19:4–6; Malachi 2:14–16; Song of Solomon 8:6-7)
Husbands and wives must love one another as Christ loved the church. They must be joined and glued together, there is no separation, divorce, or living apart. This is the scriptural teaching of the scriptures. They are joined together and must live together in love until death does them part.
Matthew 19:4. The Pharisees came to ask Jesus about the issue of divorce in marriage. Jesus did not ask them about what any ruler in the synagogue, philosophers, approved and elevated present day authors wrote about marriage but what the scriptures wrote. Just as you cannot have two mother and fathers, so you cannot have two wives or two husbands at the same time. One man and one woman will come together and be one flesh. They are no more two but one flesh, they are no more going in different directions. They should do things together, love and think alike.
- Pleasant Edification Through Love In The Family (Ephesians 4:16; Deuteronomy 11:21; Romans 14:19–21; Ephesians 4:29–32)
As we bring the family together, bond and exercise love as we ought to in the family, with the husband and wife playing their different parts to make every joint stay together, we have fulfilled the will of God and there will be edification in the family. This also helps us to be well groomed in love and edification in the family because every part is supplied adequate nourishment.
We will have a home as heaven on earth. How? The grace and goodness of God from heaven will make our lives to be as if we have already crossed over to heaven. Our marriages will not be like the ones in this polluted and evil world. Our days and those of our children will be multiplied in the home which He gives us as heavens on earth (Deuteronomy 11:21) All grace have been supplied to us already.
- THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF LOVE IN FELLOWSHIP (Ephesians 5:2)
Fellowship here between husband and wife, parents and children and members of Christ’s fellowship is a relationship that goes on from here to eternity.
Walk, act, talk, think, plan in love. Purge from your system of anything that is not of love. If the marriage is going to be as God ordained and Christ exemplified by loving the church, we must walk in love.
- Christ’s Sacrificial Love in Our Fellowship (Ephesians 5:2,32; 2 Corinthians 5:14-15; 1 John 4:11-12, 17-18,21; Philippians 2:1–5)
To make our marriages work, we must not always think about
