When Silence Is Not Golden

The phrase “Silence is Golden” is a popular idiom that suggests there are times when saying nothing is preferable to speaking. It implies that in certain situations, maintaining silence can be more valuable or beneficial than speaking. In the last few weeks, the power of speaking out – in words and actions – has once again demonstrated that collective voice and resistance is the key to social justice and equity. This power has also been challenged.

Silence is usually a preferred response in certain contexts especially in conflict resolution where during arguments or conflicts, staying silent can prevent escalating tensions and allow both parties to cool down before discussing the issue rationally. It is also useful when it respects someone’s privacy or personal space because often, not prying into others’ affairs demonstrates respect and discretion. Silence can be a powerful tool for active listening as allowing others to speak without interruption shows attentiveness and understanding. Silence can also facilitate introspection and self-reflection. Taking time for quiet contemplation can lead to personal insight and growth. Finally, in some cultural contexts, silence is highly valued as a sign of wisdom, restraint, or reverence and demonstrates cultural sensitivity and respect.

However, it’s important to note that while silence can be beneficial in certain situations, there are also times when speaking up is necessary. Knowing when to stay silent and when to speak requires discernment and consideration of the specific circumstances. Silence is often considered golden when it allows for peaceful reflection, understanding, and communication. However, there are situations where silence can be detrimental or harmful. In relationships, whether personal or professional, silence can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, distance and communication breakdown. Without open and honest communication, issues may go unresolved and ultimately lead to the breakdown of the relationship. Effective communication is crucial for healthy relationships.

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Silence can exacerbate feelings of isolation and loneliness for those experiencing mental health challenges. Thus, it’s essential for individuals to reach out for support and share their struggles with trusted individuals or professionals. During emergencies or crises, silence can be interpreted as inaction or indifference. Prompt communication and action are crucial for addressing and resolving such situations effectively. Remaining silent in situations where one should speak up to express ideas, opinions, or concerns can hinder personal growth and development. On the other hand, constructive dialogue and expression are key to learning and evolving.

In creative and professional contexts, silence can stifle creativity and innovation. Without open communication and the sharing of ideas, individuals may feel inhibited from expressing themselves fully and exploring new possibilities. It can also prevent individuals from seeking help, asking questions, or engaging in meaningful dialogue. This can result in missed opportunities for learning, growth, and personal development.

In these contexts, silence is not golden but rather can be detrimental to individuals, relationships, and society. When individuals remain silent about their emotions, whether due to fear of judgment or other reasons, it can lead to emotional suppression and internal turmoil. This can result in mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and resentment.

The Power of Collective Voice

In a society like ours, silence can sometimes hinder progress and positive change. Without individuals speaking out against injustices and advocating for change, societal issues such as environmental degradation, poverty, and human rights abuses may persist. Silence in the face of injustice or oppression can perpetuate systemic issues such as inequality, discrimination and oppression allowing them to continue unchecked. Speaking up against discrimination and inequality is necessary for progress and change. By not speaking out against injustice, individuals contribute to the perpetuation of harmful societal norms and structures.

Overall, silence can be detrimental when it inhibits emotional expression, communication, social justice, progress, creativity, and learning. It’s important for individuals and society to recognize the power of their voices and speak out when necessary for the betterment of themselves and the society. The exigency of this idiom played out recently over a consumer opinion of a popular product on social media and counsel by the Honourable Minister of Women Affairs to women.

In September 2023, a Nigerian Facebook user named Chioma Okoli aka Chioma Egodi Jr. made a review about a popular tomato paste and was promptly arrested by the police at the instance of the manufacturer of the product. The manufacturer instituted a police case against her based on her social media post which they claim was misleading consumers and discrediting the company’s image. After a few days in police custody and the outcry by many social media users, she was released but the case is still pending in court as at today.

Nigerians raised their voices calling out the issue as a weaponisation of the police by the rich and powerful to silence the voices of ordinary Nigerians. Amnesty International and other human rights activists also decried the arrest stating that no one should be arrested for simply exercising their freedom of expression. However, in the last few weeks, Chioma’s story has been trending on social media with the hashtag: #IStandWithChiomaOkoli following her re-arrest in January. April 24 has been set as the date for the arraignment. This collective voice by Nigerians got her legal support and resources to support her case and is a good example of collective voice and agency where silence is not golden.

Culture of Silence and Violence

Then last week, at a conference of Commissioners of Women Affairs, the Honourable Minister of Women Affairs Barr. Uju Kennedy-Ohaneye had admonished women to stay quiet when confronted or in the face of arguments with their spouses and intimate partners to prevent domestic violence or even death. What the Honourable Minister failed to realize is that the culture of silence is one of the main enablers of gender-based violence particularly against women and girls. According to the UN, one in three women will experience physical or sexual violence in their lifetime.

The trio of silence, shame and stigma have long been identified as the most dangerous tools of oppression, inequality and injustice that enables the perpetration of violence against women and girls. Reinforcing these stereotypes by asking women to stay silent in the face of abuse enables perpetrators and shames survivors into silence thus causing secondary victimization. Whilst women are expected to be quiet and submissive, men are expected to exercise dominance and control over their families.

Rather than ask women to be silent in the face of abuse, policymakers and public officials owe the citizens particularly the most vulnerable that they swore to serve, maximum protection. Women and girls in abusive relationships need support when they speak up in the face of tyranny and oppression not admonitions of silence. While silence is a virtue in certain instances, such admonitions as the sole responsibility of women in relationships will inadvertently expose many women to violence.

Every day, women and girls face violence at home, work and play. We can change this narrative by encouraging them to speak out, believing them and providing the support they need to thrive beyond their situation. In relationships, both parties must be encouraged to have a voice, one voice should not silence the other. Silence is not the only answer and should not be the responsibility of women alone.

Silence enables impunity and injustice and when those who seek to oppress others can cow citizens into silence, they win. Our individual and collective voice, agency and power is our only weapon of resilience against injustice and inequality. In the words of Dr Martin Luther King Jr., “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”