Does Peter Enahoro’s ‘How To Be A Nigerian’ Stand The Test of Time?

Do you know that certain traits make you a Nigerian?

In 1966, author and journalist Peter Enahoro set about the task of defining what makes one a Nigerian in his book ‘How To Be A Nigerian’.

The result is a non-philosophical, non-sociological comedic but insightful collection of 21 short stories that highlights the 20 attributes of a Nigerian – from the shenanigans of the people-approved ‘Chairman’ to their affected social ‘Etiquette’, their natural ‘Spirit of Compromise’, and the people’s penchant for ‘Noise from the Soul’.

There is also the Nigerian’s inclination for convoluted speeches at occasions in the “Guide To Nigerian Oratory’; his tendency to ‘tip’ not ‘bribe’, mind you, before a service is rendered in ‘Dash’, and her heretofore irascibly unruly ‘Taxi Drivers’.

The reader can take consolation in the knowledge that the Nigerian’s disposition towards lateness dates back to the First Republic, as depicted in “Patience Afterthought’, whilst the Nigerian’s ability to poke fun at himself, and other Nigerians, but not to be laughed at by foreigners in ‘Humour’, remains intact.
In many ways, Enahoro’s insightful observations about Nigeria’s attributes remain valid, but only to a certain extent.

His description of a greeting between two Nigerians as the “discharge of verbal cannon complete with firing squads and the ‘rattle-tat’ machine-gun fire of sweet nothings” complete with a ‘bear hug, a wild jig and back slaps’ remains true.

Readers will guffaw at the description of how the average, underpaid civil servant-whose service is equivalent to servitude – “takes a razor-sharp tongue to work with him and will snap like the jaws of a crocodile at the least provocation.” Perhaps, even grin in self-deprecation at being called out as in the below scenario:

“In most parts of the world, a price tag tells you the exact cost of an article on display in a market. Not so in Nigeria. There are no price tags, although there are prices. What happens is that the market mammy, knowing that the correct price of a dozen eggs is five shillings, asks one shilling more: the customer, knowing that he should rightly pay five shillings, offers one shilling less. Then, the seller and the purchaser haggle and haggle and, after driving a hard bargain, compromise on five shillings,” writes the author.

Conversely, the Nigerians’ sometimes exaggerated sense of courtesy, which involves refusing an invitation to eat until asked twice or thrice by their host, has long disappeared due to decades of economic hardship. People no longer wait to be asked twice, and hosts no longer offer invitations to meals they don’t mean to.

Bribery/Corruption has long since been an open practice, and Nigerians make no pretense of calling it what it is. Although the ‘bribee’ still sees being bribed to do his job as doing a favour for the ‘briber’. The bribery trail extends all the way up to the boss, whom the staff member likely bribed before being employed.

It all looks so grim if one views the matter too seriously.

It’s best to adopt the author’s approach, which is to enlighten and entertain, showing that Nigerians can laugh at their own idiosyncrasies. However, readers would do well to take up the author’s challenge – that, despite being extensive global travellers, Nigerians do not travel extensively within their own country.

This is a fact that’s been exacerbated by the high level of insecurity in the country. Hence, it’ll be hard to convince a Nigerian to embark on a cross-country trip today.

If they didn’t do it back in the day when it was relatively easy to do so, why now? Nevertheless, travelling exposes one to other cultures, prompting an understanding of shared similarities and respect for differences, which in turn dispels ethnicism.

If Nigeria is ever going to overcome ethnicism, a locally well-travelled population is a part of the ingredients needed to make the steaming, spicy broth that is Nigeria.