HOW I OVERCAME: Sabidatu: Despite Stepmother’s Abuse, I Have Become The Family’s Backbone

Sabidatu was only 12 years old when her mother, faced with fierce rivalry from her co-wife and her father’s uncaring attitude, bowed out of the marriage.

This turn of events made growing up never easy for Sabidatu. After the exit of her mother at that tender age, she found herself under the care of a stepmother who was everything but a torment and terror to her.

Her attitude often left Sabidatu with deep emotional wounds. While her children received affection and encouragement, she subjected Sabidatu to harsh words and countless household chores, keeping her away from the joys of childhood.

Many times, she went to school hungry. She wore old clothes and studied under difficult conditions. Her stepmother considered her a burden and often reminded her that she did not belong. Her father, an interstate commercial transporter, was not always at home and therefore had little or no knowledge of what his daughter regularly passed through.

The only time she was well-treated was when her father was at home. At such a time, the pretentious stepmother would show her love to deceive her father.

Despite the pain and rejection, Sabidatu remained determined to build a better future.

Narrating her ordeal and survival instinct, she said, “I developed a strong love for education and used it as my escape from hardship. After completing innumerable chores, I studied late into the night with borrowed books and the dim light of a lantern. I got help from a few teachers who were impressed with my dedication and encouraged me to continue pursuing my dreams.

“I shared my experiences at home with them, which made one of them bring food for me during school time. Life became more difficult when financial challenges threatened my education, but I refused to quit,” she said.

A neighbour, who could no longer bear Sabidatu’s sad situation, intervened by drawing her father’s attention to her stepmother’s attitude, but this only compounded the situation.

Consequently, the neighbour took up the payment of her school fees and minor upkeep.

She recalled, “This rare love encouraged me to continue my studies with remarkable determination.

“Years later, my perseverance paid off. I attended the university on a scholarship from my state government. It was extended for my Master’s programme. This made me the most successful child in the family, securing a respectable career and providing support not only to my father but also to my siblings. Ironically, the child who had once been neglected has become the family’s greatest source of pride and support,” Sabidatu said.

“Those painful years taught me never to give up. I decided that my circumstances would not define my destiny. My only sad memory is that I can’t find those teachers and neighbour, who stood with me during those rough days,” Sabidatu lamented.