Memories Of A Wonderful Mother And Friend

A mother’s love is a constant and enduring strength that shapes our lives, builds our character, and lays the foundation of who we eventually become. Such was the love my mother, Deaconess Caroline Abike Odukoya (nee Sode), bequeathed to my siblings and me that it has been difficult to come to terms with her passage. But as we lay her to rest this week, we can only thank God for a life well spent. In every sense, Mummy was the true definition of love, a pictorial definition of care. She freely and wholeheartedly gave of herself, always putting us – her family – first. She was a priceless gift, a blessing beyond measure.

Mothers are naturally irreplaceable. Still, the memory of my dearly beloved mother serves as a guiding light and a source of comfort for me, while her legacy of strength, loving-kindness, and love of God lives on through us. My mother’s faith was the foundation of her life. She trusted God completely and implicitly. And she beseeched us, at every step of the way, to do the same. My mother was our intercessor and encourager. She believed and trusted deeply in the power of prayer, and lived it daily. I am forever grateful for the prayers she prayed before ending every call and before every goodbye.

Mummy taught us respect, responsibility, humility, and integrity. When we erred, she corrected us with love, so much love, and guided us with wisdom, always wanting the best for everyone of us. The discipline she instilled in us was not the harsh kind; it was love in its strongest form, preparing us to stand firm in life and in faith, and encouraging us to pass on the same to our children.

My mother loved our Daddy late Prince Kola Odukoya deeply and stood faithfully by his side until God called him home. Her devotion was a beautiful and exemplary beacon to us all. I will forever be grateful for having a mother like her to journey with me during my own waiting period. She stood with me in prayer, in hope, and in faith. And God answered and showed us His mercy and blessed us with Catherine Anuoluwapo Dokpesi. I am eternally grateful for the love and discipline she gave to Catherine Anuoluwapo. She helped to shape her with wisdom, fear of God, and tenderness. I will also forever be grateful for her acceptance and the unqualified love she showered on my late husband, High Chief Raymond Aleogho Dokpesi. That singular act meant more to me than words can ever express.

Expression of gratitude to my loving mother will not be complete without noting the many nights she stayed up late, waiting for me to return from work, and making sure I did not go to bed without eating. My mother had a special way of knowing when I was worried. Even without words, she would remind me that God is ever faithful. Her faith strengthened mine. Her kindness was not selective; it was genuine. She had a generous spirit and a compassionate heart. She was always ready to help, to encourage, and to uplift others. She loved without condition and served without seeking recognition.

My mother always had comforting words for everyone. Her life was a sermon of kindness, generosity, faith, and love. She accommodated many in our home, making certain they had food and shelter. Many have been blessed by her quiet acts of giving. So many were on her “payroll” until she breathed her last. I’m grateful that she taught me to give without holding back.

Last December, I was afraid she was ready to go. Her condition gave me such a fright because my heart was not ready. I didn’t want to leave her side so I suspended my journey. But in her strength and selflessness, she instructed me to go. By January, she was strong again — vibrant, encouraging, and full of life. She told me to stay and complete what I had to do in Ireland. Every day, seeing her on video calls brought me so much joy. Those beautiful smiles… the special way she hailed me… There was something different about them. Something deeper. Something I now hold close to my heart.

My mother knew the time was drawing near. In those last days, she barely looked at my face. It is something I now understand in a way I couldn’t then. All I wanted was to make sure she had a good dinner. She told me she would let me know after using the bathroom. And in that sacred moment, I was holding her — not knowing she was about to take her final breath in my arms. What a privilege! What a gift!

In retrospect, I am grateful that she waited for me. I am also grateful to God for answering her prayers. She always said she did not want to stress us. She said she did not want us carrying her back and forth to the hospital. And God, in His faithfulness, honoured her request. Her passing was peaceful. It was dignified. It was glorious.

My heart aches so much because I miss my mother very deeply. I however rejoice knowing that she has gone home to be with the Lord Jesus that she loved so dearly. We find comfort in knowing that the woman who sang about being saved by grace now rests fully in that amazing grace. Her life reflected her favourite song, “Ore Ofe sa”. Saved by Grace Alone. She understood that it was only by God’s grace that we stand, and she held onto that truth with unwavering confidence.

When I interviewed my mother in February 2025, she requested that we sing the hymn at all the services, wake-keep, and her funeral. And, most certainly, we shall sing it for her! Meanwhile, the seeds she planted in us will continue to grow. The lessons she taught us will continue to guide us. The love she gave us will continue to surround us. We will miss her deeply. But we are grateful—grateful for her life, her sacrifices, her prayers, and her legacy. She has fought a good fight. She has finished her race. And we take comfort in knowing that she is resting in the arms of the Lord. My prayer is that she continues to rest peacefully, until we meet again at the feet of Jesus Christ.

–Mrs Oluwatosin Dokpesi is a former Managing Director of African Independent Television (AIT).