Widowed At 32, I Taught, Sewed, Farmed To Raise 6 Children –Kano Teacher

Can you take us back to when your journey as a widow began and how you coped with the sudden loss of your husband, especially with four young children to raise then?

My journey into widowhood began on June 6, 1987, when I lost my husband, an Air Force officer, in a car accident in Lagos. I was just 32 years old at the time and had only joined him in Kano seven months earlier, after completing my studies at Borno College of Education (affiliated with the University of Maiduguri).

His death was a great shock, but I accepted it as part of life and chose not to dwell on the question, “Why me?” At that point, I was a full-time housewife with four young children, the oldest was ten, and the youngest was just four.

I saw it as a challenge and believed that God had a purpose for everything. My strength came from depending solely on God. I made a conscious decision not to rely on any man and trusted that God’s plan was perfect. Even when resources were scarce, I remained calm and focused on meeting our daily needs. I was determined to raise my children on my own and never considered remarriage.

There were times when I cried silently, especially at night, but I always made sure my children saw a strong version of me during the day. I didn’t want them to feel hopeless or abandoned. I knew that if I gave up, they would suffer, so I stayed strong for them.

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How were you able to balance working and raising your children as a single mother, especially in the early years after your husband’s passing?

After my husband passed away while still in active service, I was fortunate to be offered a teaching job at the Air Force Primary School. That opportunity was a lifeline, not just for me, but for my children, who were granted scholarships to attend the school at the primary level.

However, things were far from easy. His official car was impounded shortly after his death, so every day I would walk with my children from our home in Magwan to Ibrahim Taiwo Road to get to school. On days we were lucky, someone would give us a ride home. But most of the time, we walked the long distance, rain or shine. It wasn’t just physically exhausting; it was emotionally and mentally draining too, but I had no choice. My children depended on me.

When they completed primary school, the burden of school fees and household needs fell entirely on me. I took on a second teaching role in another primary school, where I served as an assistant head teacher and later as acting head teacher. Even then, the salary wasn’t enough. To supplement my income, I started small-scale poultry farming, sewing, and selling children’s clothes, I did anything lawful that would bring in extra income to support my family.

After nearly a decade, I transitioned into a secondary school setting and joined Prime College, Kano, where I still serve today as a school administrator. Interestingly, more than 90 percent of the parents at the school don’t even know I’m a widow. I’ve always carried out my duties with professionalism and diligence. My status has never defined my capabilities. I just focus on doing my best every single day.

Looking back, what would you say are your greatest achievements as a mother and how has your journey impacted your family?

My greatest priority was always the well-being of my children. I made sure they were well-fed, clothed, and cared for, even if it meant I ate last or went without. Raising them singlehandedly was not easy, but by God’s grace, I saw each of them through university.

Beyond my children, I also took care of my mother-in-law until she passed away. I’ve always believed in giving, no matter how little I had. I love to share and help others in need, and I believe that spirit of giving has brought me fulfillment and open doors I never expected.

God has been faithful. Despite the challenges, I’ve been able to build my own house and even buy a car for myself. Things I never thought possible at the beginning of this journey.

Today, I’m proud to say that two of my four children are married, and I’m blessed with seven beautiful grandchildren; six boys and one girl. Watching my family grow and thrive is the greatest reward of all.

How did you manage your finances while raising your children alone, and what guiding principles helped you stay focused through the tough times?

Financially, I had to be very disciplined. I always prioritised my children’s school fees. Sometimes , setting aside two months’ salary just to ensure they were paid on time and that their basic needs were met. Their education was non-negotiable.

In addition to teaching, I found other ways to support my family. I raised poultry, sewed clothes, and bought and sold children’s wear, anything honest that could bring in extra income. I didn’t just do it for my children, but also to support extended family members who looked up to me.

Because of this, many people would come to me for loans or financial help, not realising that I’m a widow.

They saw me as someone who was always able to assist, but they didn’t know the sacrifices I made behind the scenes.

Question:

What guiding philosophy helped you stay strong and focused throughout your journey as a widow and single parent?

My philosophy in life is simple: I see every challenge as a stepping stone, not a setback. I’ve learned that adversity often signals a new beginning. When things fall apart, it’s usually a sign that something new and better is about to unfold. If you keep your faith and don’t give up.

I’ve always believed in facing life with courage, no matter how difficult the situation may seem. I don’t allow myself to dwell on what I’ve lost or what I lack. Instead, I focus on what I can do, what I can give, and how I can move forward, one step at a time.

At the center of everything I do is God. I put Him first before any plan, decision, or worry. That mindset has helped me stay grounded and hopeful, even when there was very little to hold on to physically. It has taught me to trust the process, to wait patiently, and to stay committed to doing the right thing—even when no one is watching.

This philosophy didn’t just help me survive; it helped me grow. It gave me the strength to raise my children well, support others around me, and live a life that I can look back on with gratitude and peace.