In our heydays, we see elders in the image of God, with undiluted reverence. In fact, if an elder farts in our presence, we rush to claim ownership- for it is a sacrilege for an elder to fart.
You dare not eat with an elder without holding the plate, you sustain that until the food is finished and woe betide you if you dare wash your hands before the plate is emptied. You are forced to rub your hand in the sand. It wasn‘t tyranny, it was a correcting norm- very African. I was a beneficiary of that didactic tyranny.
In school, our teachers are revered in reverence, we see them as our second parents. We dare not look at them in scorn. In fact, we worship them academically. We are mobilized to go to our teachers‘ fams to till the land and harvest when necessary, and even to their homes to clean their dirt. It wasn‘t slavery but communal imbibing.
In the university, our lecturers are absolute; we see them in the image of perfect beings. We dare not scorn or sneer them. They are our mirror to the future. No matter your stance, you dare not deride your teacher. And this helped in moulding us into the better men and women we are.
Our leaders enjoy more of the reverence self, they represent all our aspirations – they are our earthly gods and we submit to their dictates. That is why in Islam, it is easier for a leader to land in hell than to heaven. He shoulders the burden of responsibility. As such, their subjects pray for them to succeed and never mock or denigrate them.
However, everything has changed with the coming of social media where cruise catching is the order of the day, where everything absurd is paraded and upheld. Professor Wole Soyinka once described them as children of anger, and Rueben Abati calls them unruly children. The social media space is awash with kids dishing out insults to elders unabashedly. If not, what business has a university student preparing for exams by body-shaming someone old enough to be his mother?
We may be emotional about this and even hurl more insults at the First Lady but I think this development is a wake up call for parents to look into the kind of children they are producing. Being vocal is not same as being insulting. I have never seen anywhere where insults are taught in school- only character and learning dominate the compass of learning anywhere. Young people can join the expression train with decorum, Hamzat B. Lawal is Nigeria‘s youngest activist who is a darling of the world is a beautiful reference of how young people can be engaging. Not for once, have I seen his traces abusing leaders or elders rather he holds their balls and gauntlets using civility. Aminu and other young Nigerians can take a cue from Hamza; he is a better model , not the army of disgruntled elders cheering Aminu up – they are not helping him, they are emboldening more generations of young people who make their point through insults.
No matter what, try not to normalize insults to elders as a feeling of expression, it debases you as a cultured person. Being courteous can fetch you whatever points you want to make, you can actually floor Hajia Aisha Buhari without necessarily resorting to insult- she is your mother given all parameters. No matter the shortcomings of your mother, I m pretty sure, you won‘t correct her with insults.
Again, when has it become a new normal for young people to correct societal ills with uncouth words? Is this part of the new civilization? Million young of people are on social media expressing themselves and no one has ever shut them up, this happens because they are guided by homely training. Those who fall to the oppression of others are those who didn‘t guide their utterances. You can live above harassment when you avoid that that does not concern you.
Governor Wike can unabashedly call the president,‘ Buhari‘, without any iota of reverence but Governor Fintiri cannot call the name of the president without adding a reverence prefix. That is what cultural orientation does. In some parts of the south, it is normal to talk down on your leaders and elders, in the north, that is almost a taboo! In fact, recently, a lad who went to the tomb of his late mum to pour curses on her was publicly fetched and flogged. That is how tight respect and reverence for elders and leaders is in the north. They don‘t give room for juvenile rascality.
The lad, purportedly arrested for insulting Hajia Aisha Buhari no doubt crossed the lines, he should be reprimanded and not held in captivity. Children are trained with sticks and carrots. Let the boy go home, he had learned not to be insulting in his engagements, especially with elders. Sadly,
Our plea for Hajia Aisha Buhari to forgive this son of hers fell on deaf ears as the boy now sits all alone in the Suleja prison following a court order. Sad no doubt but this is a lesson baked in between forgiveness and being caught in a web of using your hand to court trouble for yourself. Classic case of two extremes.
Frankly musing.
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