“AB, I hope this is not April fool; we spoke yesterday and from the way you sounded it was obvious that you were in high spirits. Nothing, to me, suggested that Mama was ill.”
That was my friend’s reaction, as he was in shock and disbelief at the news of the passing of my mother Mrs Eunice Ndanusa-Isaiah, popularly known as Mama Sam, on April 1, 2022. To his dismay, I didn’t sound like one who was attending to a sick mother. I told him I was in my sister’s house with mom at the time we were talking the previous day and that she was not in a critical condition, even as there was no inkling that we would lose her.
On March 30, 2022, my elder sister, Mary, called to inform me that my younger sister, Grace, called to tell her that mom would like to see both of us the next day, March 31. It was quite unusual for my mom to summon a meeting through a third party. Mary did not understand the whole idea; she wondered why mom would convene a family meeting through her. The thinking within the family was that I was the closest of the siblings to our mom, though I didn’t think that was quite correct.
Everyone was curious. I had no idea why mama had to communicate through a third party. Weeks before passing on, she would always call me to give instructions on what she wanted me to do in the family or seek my opinion about certain issues. After each conversation, she would still insist that I see her in person because the discussion was not the type to hold on the phone. I had always shelved the idea of one-on-one with her because she usually sounded very healthy and fine on the phone, meaning there was no cause for alarm. While I had always carried out all her instructions, some of them were things that should be done in the distant future, including certain roles I should not hesitate to play for the growth and wellbeing of the entire family.
The morning of March 31 came and I proceeded to pick my sister, Mary, to see mama. As we embarked on the journey to see her, one thought ran through my mind and simultaneously on Mary’s mind: that perhaps mama summoned us to get a brief about preparations for Emmanuel’s wedding which was a few weeks away. When we arrived in mama’s place that morning, she asked Mary about her husband, Dr Tunde, who usually came frequently to Abuja for some consultancy duties, especially eye surgeries, every other week.
Mama was hale and hearty that morning when we met her in her son-in-law’s house. Abiola, Grace’s husband, walked into the room and, coincidentally, that was his birthday. Mama wished him happy birthday and prayed for him.
There was no sign that mama had just some hours to live on this side of eternity, but it later dawned on us that the meeting was a premonition that she was at the cusp of bowing out. Gradually, she started developing high temperature. Her doctor who was invited to examine her said she was fine and that it was nothing serious. But lo and behold, in our very eyes, mama passed on. Initially, it was as if she was just taking a nap but she passed away quietly and peacefully on her bed.
So, it is exactly one year since my mother left us for the great beyond. I, for one, have still not come to terms with the sad reality that she is no more. I still find it difficult to believe that mama is gone. At this time of the year, I find myself enmeshed in a meditation, the kind of spiritual awakening that reminds me that life is ephemeral. It is just like Psalm 90 vs 12 says: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Mama’s demise in such a season as the Easter period is quite instructive. It is a coincidence that gives the assurance that we shall reunite with her on the resurrection day.
During Easter and Christmas periods every year, mama would line up philanthropic activities to undertake, including providing food and other items for the vulnerable. Right from childhood, mama had always been a good woman. She was constantly looking for whom to help. Whenever she came visiting, there was great expectation in the entire household because everybody knew she would get something for all.
When my elder brother, Sam Nda-Isaiah, passed on in December 2020, I tried to avoid mama because coming face to face with her was difficult for me. When we eventually met, the first thing she asked was, “Why did you allow your brother to die?” This is a question I still have no answer to give. Some people still believe that the passing of Sam affected her negatively and probably constituted part of the reasons why she passed on in less than two years after his demise. But God is sovereign; anything that happens happens because He chooses to allow it.
As we remember the fondest memories of mama, even in grief, we are truly blessed to have been loved by her. It has been a year since her passing, but we still miss her so much. Her death seems like yesterday’s event to us. It would continue to be so this time every year; she was a mother who would constantly call to check how you were faring whenever you travelled. Mama would call you first in the morning and at night to ask about your wellbeing, the programme you travelled to attend and the security around your residence.
I have personally missed mama’s analytical and narrative ability. There are some events that happened after her demise and I wondered what would have been her reaction to those historical and political events. If she were to be alive when Queen Elizabeth II died last year, mama would have told us something she knew about the Queen’s historical background and experience.
Mama was also politically inclined: she understood the dynamics and nitty-gritty of Nigerian politics. She would have explained why it would have been Bola Tinubu, Atiku Abubakar, Peter Obi or Rabiu Kwankwaso that would have won the presidential election and her permutations turned out to be accurate most of the time. She had her own impression about Tinubu. When she lost her husband nine years ago, Tinubu was on his way to Niger State to attend the burial but he aborted the trip due to aviation advisory.
Mama was the kind of mother who is always accused of pampering her child to a fault. No matter how grown up you have become as her son and daughter, mama would make sure she bought for you what she knew was your favourite whenever she went to the market or embarked on a short trip. If you met her eating, she’d insist you take the biggest piece of meat or fish. When she knew you were going to pay her a visit, she always kept something for you to take away. That was her nature.
How time flies! Life goes on at its own pace, but some memories can never be forgotten or erased from the mind of mama’s dearest ones. She will always remain in our thoughts. The love and kindness she showered us with will never be forgotten. She was the perfect role model for a mother who loves her children.
Dear mother, it is 365 days without you. We have missed you in every sense of the word – your motherly care, advice, moral support and direction have eluded us in the last one year. Be rest assured however that you are still in our hearts and your good works are still speaking volumes of the indelible mark of kindness, compassion and unalloyed motherly role you played in raising us, your children. Continue to rest in the bosom of the Lord my dearest mother.
We’ve got the edge. Get real-time reports, breaking scoops, and exclusive angles delivered straight to your phone. Don’t settle for stale news. Join LEADERSHIP NEWS on WhatsApp for 24/7 updates →
Join Our WhatsApp Channel
