Children, like adults, can acquire some pretty bad habits, and breaking any habit takes dedication and hard work. If your tween has picked up a few bad habits, it’s important that you help him break them as soon as possible, so that he starts off the teenage years in the best possible way.
Below are a few everyday habits tweens might need to leave behind.
Blaming Others
Your tween is old enough to begin taking some responsibility for his actions. If your child tends to blame others (teachers, siblings, friends) for everything that goes wrong, you may need to encourage your them to spend a little time considering his actions. Don’t allow your teen to scoot away from consequences.
One way to head off your child’s blame game is to vocalise upfront about the consequences if he fails to do his homework, clean up his room, or break his curfew.
Letting Others Do Things For Them
Some teens are impressively independent, while others will allow anybody (parents, grandparents, or siblings) to take care of things for him. Be sure you resist the temptation to clean your child’s room, do his homework, or enable your child to wiggle out of his responsibilities.
A chore chart and a homework chart will help your child stay on track of his obligations and duties. Be sure you provide reasonable reminders to encourage your tween to follow through, as well as consequences if he doesn’t.
Cursing
Your child will likely hear just about every curse word at school or while riding the bus. But if you don’t put a stop to the cursing now, you’re unlikely ever to get your teen to stop. Be sure your child knows how you feel about cursing, and that it’s impolite to curse because it makes others feel uncomfortable.
If you tend to curse now and then, be sure to recognise your mistake and let your teen know that it’s important to try hard to eliminate the habit.
Constant Complaining
If your tween has nothing positive to say, it might be time to help your child exercise an attitude adjustment. If you don’t do it now, the teen years will be that much more difficult.
Bad Hygiene
Tweens aren’t always as hygienic as we would like them to be, and puberty can make it all the worse. If your child plays a sport or is very active, hygiene is that much more important. Be sure you provide your teen with the knowledge and the products he needs to practice good hygiene.
Stock your child’s bathroom with soap, towels, shampoo, and conditioner, and be sure he showers regularly and particularly after sports or exercising.
Sleeping Late
Your older child may need to get to school earlier than in elementary school, which means getting out of bed could become a real challenge. If your child is sleeping in and missing the bus, you can help get him or her back on schedule. Be sure your teen lays out clothes the night before, packs his or her lunch, and has everything ready for the next day.
Keep your teen on a strict sleep schedule, by gradually turning off electronic devices at night, getting him or her into their bedroom, and encouraging sleep and rest. Be sure your teen does not have a television set, or a computer in the bedroom, as that can tempt your child and delay bedtime.
Having All the Answers
Don’t be surprised if your once delightful child decides they now have all the answers, and that you don’t know nearly as much as you used to. Your child may cop an attitude towards you, your spouse, their grandparents, or teachers. It’s embarrassing when a child is rude and disrespectful to others, but if you let your child get away with rude behavior, he or she is likely to continue it.
Be sure your child knows and understands your family values and expectations regarding his or her behavior towards others, particularly other adults. Model good behavior, and if your teen is caught being rude or disrespectful, don’t make excuses for him or her. Instead, follow through with reasonable consequences and talk about what you want to see going forward.
Eating Unhealthy Foods
Today’s teens are snackers, and unfortunately, they tend to snack on foods with little or no nutritional value. Busy schedules can be partly to blame. It’s much easier to reach for a bag of chips when you’re running from one event to another than it is making a healthier snack. If you want your child to embrace nutritious eating, you’ll have to make it a commitment.
The reality is your child’s body is still growing and needs healthy food to do all the things he needs to do and to keep himself healthy and strong. Be sure you limit junk food options and encourage healthy eating whenever you can.
Taking People for Granted
Your teen is self-obsessed and probably a tad self-conscious. It’s very easy for teens and teens to think the world revolves around them, and to take family, friends, and teachers for granted. But your child is old enough to begin learning how to show appreciation to those who help your child through the day. Begin by pointing out how others help your teen throughout the day, by driving them to school, teaching or coaching them, or making their meals.
Ask your tween to share stories of people who assisted him or her that day, or extended a courtesy.
Making Messes
Children make messes, but even toddlers can be taught to pick up their toys and books. Your older child may be forgetting all that you taught him or her about picking up and leaving things the way you found them.
You will have to continually remind your child that it’s everyone’s responsibility to chip in and get the chores done. You will also probably have to remind your child that he or she is responsible for any messes they make. You may need to enforce rules and consequences so that your child knows you aren’t kidding.
Lying
It’s hard for a parent when they catch their child lying to them. Teens may lie because they don’t want to get in trouble, they don’t want their parents to be upset or disappointed in them, or because they just want to see if they can get away with it. If you catch your tween lying, it’s time for a discussion with your tween.
Explain why it’s crucial for parents and children to trust one another, and that once trust is lost, it can be challenging to get back. Explain to your tween that you would rather know the truth than being told a lie.
If your tween engages in frequent lying, you might need to enlist the help of a school counselor or therapist to help you develop strategies for dealing with your tween’s lying and help turning it around.
