Former Senator representing Kaduna Central District, Shehu Sani, has expressed disapproval of escalation of domestic violence in marriage as advocated by the 16th Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi II, while advising his daughters to retaliate if their husbands slap them.
Sani, in a Facebook post, cautioned against promoting violence in marital relationships.
He emphasised the importance of self-control and peaceful conflict resolution in households.
“His Highness Sanusi should not be encouraging this kind of domestic violence in the form of slapping and slapping back. Rather, husbands and wives should learn to control themselves in moments of anger when the devil temporarily visits their homes,” Sani wrote.
The former senator suggested practical solutions for managing anger and preventing domestic violence. “When a husband is angry, he should walk out of the house and come back later. When a husband is upset and shouting loudly, the wife should just keep quiet and allow him to relieve all of his words. The sentence ‘I’m sorry’ has a magical spirit that can evict the demon in the house.”
Sani also revealed, “Two people shouting at each other is the source of many divorces.” If the man is becoming violent, the wife should protect herself by walking out to his family or her family home”, he advised.
Sani warned that retaliatory violence could irreparably damage marriages. “The very day slapping and slapping back becomes the order of a family, the marriage is irreversibly destroyed, even if the couple remains together.
“Most of the participants in those mass weddings are literally divorced wives who believe in this revengeful idea of slapping back their husbands. What is the possibility that when you slap your first husband you won’t slap the second one?”
The senator urged couples to draw lessons from their parents’ conflict resolution methods. “Did you grow up in a home where your father slapped your mother and your mother slapped him back? How did your parents resolve their problems? Should that not be your guide?” he added.
Recall that Emir Sanusi II made the controversial remarks during the National Dialogue Conference on Gender-Based Violence (GBV) held at Bayero University, Kano.
The conference, themed: ‘Islamic Teachings and Community Collaboration for Ending Gender-Based Violence’, was organised by the Centre for Islamic Civilisation and Interfaith Dialogue (CICID) in partnership with the Development Research and Projects Centre (DRPC) and supported by the Ford Foundation.
During his address, Sanusi criticised the abuse of Islamic teachings by men who justify wife-beating and highlighted alarming statistics from Shari’a courts in Kano.
“About 51 percent of the cases over a five-year period had to do with maintenance, while 26 percent had to do with harm. Out of those, 45 percent were cases of wife beating and domestic violence,” the 16th Emir of Kano revealed.
Sanusi condemned the severity of violence in these cases. “We had women whose limbs were broken. We had women whose teeth were knocked out. We had women who were victims of constant beating with sticks. Beating your wife or beating a woman is prohibited. It is haram. Allah says all harm must be removed.”
The Emir reiterated his stance on teaching daughters to stand up against abuse.
“When my daughters are getting married, I say to them: if your husband slaps you, and you come home and tell me your husband slapped you without slapping him back first, I will slap you myself. I did not send my daughter to marry somebody so he can slap her. If you do not like her, send her back to me, but don’t beat her.”
He emphasised the need to educate sons and daughters on non-violence. “We must teach our daughters not to take it. And also teach our sons that it is not allowed. Violence against the body of another human being violates the basic dignity of a human being,” Sanusi concluded.
The contrasting views of Sanusi and Sani sparked widespread debate on approaches to addressing domestic violence in Nigeria.
